Freak

Nobody at work made even the slightest reaction to my haircut. This is fairly interesting, since the new hawk is even extreme to me. I believe it shows how I have affected these folks either by:

-making them afraid of me + being extremely unapproachable
-leading them toward this freakishness a little bit at a time until it's not really so noticable
-seeming invisible?



But really, freak is pretty much what I was GOING for. I kind of look like a punk rocker.

I am going to choose a combination of the first two possibilities. I was informed recently by the good direct supervisor (from here known as Good) that the bad big boss (from here known as Bad) is afraid of me, and it brought a big damn smile to my face. I love this because Bad's entire presentation is that s/he is intimidating, hard, totally invulnerable, inhuman, i.e. scary. But I intimidated shim! Fuck yes. Yes to the power of tears against people who fear them. Good said that one day Bad came to Good's office and asked if I was okay, to which Good replied, "I don't know, have you asked her?" And Bad just walked away without responding. Or maybe responded with "Never mind." I can't remember.

Maybe it's because when I was crying multiple days each week because of the stress Bad was putting me under, Bad would say it looked like I had ALLERGIES! I didn't have fucking allergies, I was crying, in duress, you big hoser. Ooh, scary, tears, emotion! Better pretend it doesn't exist and is therefore totally invalid. (and s/he thought s/he was doing me a favor trying to un-embarrass me.) Bad is like a Skeksie who cannot handle real people. But with better posture.

Anyhow after that digression, I have indeed tried to be scary and unapproachable to Bad and Bad's little flunky too. Apparently it worked.