Im_mobile
I suspect that my slowly growing social and political awareness is causing me to feel worse and also not better
Because of a distinct (distincly mine) lack of power
& what about when you're working your very hardest and doing you very best
but it's not enough
what about that
sometimes it's not enough. it's not okay
just because something has to be okay doesn't mean it is okay
what then
Is this nauseating up and down really all there is
Am I really supposed to be okay with that
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this weekend, a waitress with sparkling eyes and an earthwide smile said: "I wish I could sit down and read the paper with you. But, maybe not. It's too depressing."
I tell her that I try to read the NY Times every day. How I hit moments when my heart is weighted with the news. Somalia. Central African Republic. Chad. Sudan. Iraq. Iran. Palistine. Isreal. Sugar growers in South American. Children with AIDS with parents who have died of AIDS. The folks of the Gulf States. Bureucratic Red Tape.
All that shit. And once in a while, I just stop reading.
But, I found a few things. Change my lightbulbs to energy savers. Help pick-up trash in front of my apartment. Volunteer for rooftop gardening. Sign-up for meet and greets for campaigns. Labor rallys.
Sometimes, those other issues are so incredible to reach. I focus on the small things that I can.
I finished breakfast. I paid my tab. Went back for the tip. Left her 6 bucks on a 10 dollar tab. Then noticed that I had an extra $5. I returned the $5 to Mary Lou, the Owner who cashed me out. She says: Wow. Thanks! You are a fine American.
I say: It's nothing. But, thanks.
She says: No it's something. It's something.
Just being concious about the world and doing the best you can, it's something. it's something. it's something.
The power is yours for the taking.
And this is my personal blog to you.
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