Well, sucks to blogging
I've been overwhelmed with shit to do and not getting it done and trying to sleep a lot and riding trains and buses and such.
I've always said, I may be small but I'm scrappy. Someone agrees - this comic is entitled, "Scrappy"
nataliedee.com
Day before yesterday I was meeting with a couple of bosses in a corner office in our building on Park South and we heard a very loud crunch outside. We went to the window and found a car accident on the corner opposite. One cab had swerved and busted a phone booth right out of the ground, and most Manhattan phone booths are sturdier than the ones you think of. The other cab had swerved and rammed into the building of the bank across the street. Basically, about 1/4 of the cab was smashed into the building. Two pedestrians were trapped between the cab and the building, and someone else, maybe a passenger or another pedestrian, was kind of loopy and shaky and they took her away in an ambulance after checking her out.
One of the trapped people was moving his hands and appeared to be conscious and talking as they put him on the ambulance, though they wrapped him up pretty good first so it seemed he was failry well-injured. The other dude didn't move at all, seemed unconscious, and they worked very gingerly with him so I'm sure he was seriously banged up. I mean, in a fight between a brick wall, a Lincoln, and a normal guy on the street, who do you think is gonna win? I'm guessing he probably died, but it's just conjecture.
I know people would say it's freakish but this is comforting to me. I think in my life I often feel like there's not much you can really hold on to, but there's nothing as stable as...as, well, horrible things going on. The macabre is grounding. Like when I saw the dead and bloated homeless man on 58th Street after an appointment one day. Somebody else's tragedy but one I momentarily shared - one that I'll never forget. Solid.
I say I'm sort of "into" pain but it's not a sexual thing, it's just that - it's grounding. It's real and I can touch it and I don't have to have faith in it because I can feel it. When so much is fleeting, it's predictable.
I find myself to be very inflexible these days, but in need of flexing. And scared.
